Aging and Depression: What We Can Do As Caregivers

Often times when we think about retiring we imagine fun. I picture myself traveling, spending time with family and friends, or just relaxing on the beach. It’s all good to me. We don’t consider the threat of depression. Unfortunately, many times our years of hard work take it’s toll and we are unable to live the carefree lifestyle of our dreams. Maybe the market hits your retirement funds hard. Perhaps you experience health issues. It’s also very possible that you become a caregiver for your spouse or a close relative. No matter what the challenge is, an older adult’s golden years suddenly don’t feel so golden.

These and other issues often give rise to negative emotions such as sadness, anxiety, loneliness and lowered self-esteem, which in turn lead to social withdrawal and apathy. As a caregiver, you may notice that your parent is watching a lot of TV, but assume it’s totally normal. Heck, even I can get stuck in binge-watching Netflix, but this could be a sign of depression. Before we go any further, let’s take a closer look at the signs you can look for to identify a loved one in distress.

SIGNS AN AGING ADULT MAY BE DEPRESSED

UNEXPLAINED OR AGGRAVATED ACHES AND PAINS – YOU MAY ASSUME THAT THIS IS JUST A PHYSICAL CHALLENGE, BUT MANY TIMES IT’S A SIGN OF DEPRESSION. AN AGING LOVED ONE MAY BE SUFFERING FROM STIFFNESS AND PAIN BECAUSE THEY’RE DEPRESSED AND NOT MOTIVATED TO GET OFF THE COUCH. DON’T BE AFRAID TO LOOK DEEPER FOR THE CAUSE.
LOSS OF INTEREST IN SOCIALIZING OR HOBBIES – THIS IS VERY COMMON AND IT’S A SLIPPERY SLOPE. IF NO ONE COMES TO VISIT, AN ELDER ADULT WILL FEEL NEGLECTED, GET DEPRESSED AND NO LONGER SOCIALIZE. IT’S A VICIOUS CYCLE.
WEIGHT LOSS OR LOSS OF APPETITE – THERE’S A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN AGING ADULT WHO’S FOCUSED ON PHYSICAL FITNESS TO LOSE WEIGHT AND ONE WHO HAS STOPPED EATING.
FEELINGS OF HOPELESSNESS OR HELPLESSNESS – IF EVERY TIME YOU SPEAK WITH AN AGING ADULT HE OR SHE IS NEGATIVE YOU MUST START ASKING QUESTIONS. THINGS MAY BE MUCH MORE SERIOUS THAN YOU REALIZE.
LACK OF MOTIVATION AND ENERGY – WE ALL LOVE A SLEEP IN OR LAZY DAY ONCE IN A WHILE, BUT JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE IS OLDER DOES NOT MEAN THESE DAYS SHOULD BE MORE FREQUENT.
SLEEP DISTURBANCES – DIFFICULTY FALLING ASLEEP OR STAYING ASLEEP, OVERSLEEPING, OR DAYTIME SLEEPINESS.

LOSS OF SELF-WORTH – THIS WILL OFTEN SOUND LIKE WORRIES ABOUT BEING A BURDEN. IN OTHER WORDS, HE OR SHE IS NOT WORTH THE TIME YOU SPEND HELPING.
INCREASED USE OF ALCOHOL OR OTHER DRUGS – HERE’S ONE YOU AND I RARELY CONSIDER. I MEAN, SOMEONE’S WORKS THEIR WHOLE LIFE, DON’T THEY DESERVE A FEW EXTRA DRINKS? OR PERHAPS, A PRESCRIPTION BOTTLE IS EMPTIED SOONER THAN EXPECTED. BOTH SCENARIOS ARE WAY MORE COMMON THAN WE REALIZE AND CLEAR SIGNS OF ADDICTION AND DEPRESSION.
FIXATION ON DEATH – IF YOUR LOVED ONE KEEPS TRYING TO GIVE AWAY FURNITURE OR KEEPSAKES BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER THEY HAVE, BEWARE.
NEGLECTING PERSONAL CARE – YOU MAY NOTICE YOUR LOVED ONE SKIPPING MEALS, FORGETTING MEDS OR NEGLECTING PERSONAL HYGIENE. THIS IS A VERY CLEAR SIGN YOU MUST STEP IN.

CAUSES OF DEPRESSION IN AGING ADULTS

Ok, those are the signs of depression, but what is the root cause? Well there can be many, but once we understand them we can defend against them.

HEALTH PROBLEMS – ILLNESS AND DISABILITY; CHRONIC OR SEVERE PAIN; COGNITIVE DECLINE; DAMAGE TO HIS OR HER BODY IMAGE DUE TO SURGERY OR SICKNESS.
LONELINESS AND ISOLATION – LIVING ALONE; A DWINDLING SOCIAL CIRCLE DUE TO DEATHS OR RELOCATION; DECREASED MOBILITY DUE TO ILLNESS OR A LOSS OF DRIVING PRIVILEGES.
REDUCED SENSE OF PURPOSE – FEELINGS OF PURPOSELESSNESS OR LOSS OF IDENTITY DUE TO RETIREMENT OR PHYSICAL LIMITATIONS ON ACTIVITIES YOU USED TO ENJOY.
FEARS – FEAR OF DEATH OR DYING; ANXIETY OVER FINANCIAL PROBLEMS OR HEALTH ISSUES.
RECENT BEREAVEMENTS – THE DEATH OF FRIENDS, FAMILY MEMBERS, AND PETS; THE LOSS OF A SPOUSE OR PARTNER.

WHAT CAN WE DO TO HELP

Hopefully, you feel encouraged that armed with proper information there’s a whole lot you can do to help your loved ones. Here’s a few things you can do immediately to improve the life of an aging adult.

BE AWARE OF PHYSICAL LIMITATIONS. ENCOURAGE AN OLDER ADULT TO CONSULT WITH A PHYSICIAN BEFORE MAKING DIETARY CHANGES OR UNDERTAKING ANY NEW ACTIVITY THAT MAY STRESS HIS OR HER STAMINA.
GET MOVING. EXERCISE IS A KEY INGREDIENT IN THE FIGHT AGAINST DEPRESSION. TAKE YOUR LOVED ONE FOR A SLOW WALK. BRING THEM TO AN OUTDOOR POOL WHERE THEY CAN SIT AND RELAX IN THE SUN OR EXERCISE IN THE WATER. LOOK FOR ACTIVITIES YOU CAN DO TOGETHER.
COMPANY IS KING. IT’S MUCH MORE DIFFICULT TO BE DEPRESSED WHEN THERE IS COMPANY AROUND. GET THEM OUT TO A COFFEE SHOP OR BUSY RESTAURANT WHERE THEY CAN BE AROUND OTHER PEOPLE AND FEEL LIKE PART OF SOCIETY. DON’T ALLOW HE OR SHE TO FEEL ANTIQUATED.
AGE APPROPRIATE ACTIVITIES. ACTIVITIES THAT ATTRACT PEOPLE CLOSE TO HIS OR HER AGE WILL INCREASE THE FEELING THAT THEY ARE STILL PART OF A COMMUNITY. FIND A PLACE WHERE THEY’LL BELIEVE THAT THEY BELONG.
RESPECT INDIVIDUAL PREFERENCES. BECAUSE ELDERLY PEOPLE TEND TO BE LESS AMENABLE TO LIFESTYLE CHANGES, THEY MAY BE RELUCTANT TO ADOPT NEW HABITS OR DO THINGS THAT THEIR PEERS FIND HIGHLY ENJOYABLE. A PSYCHOLOGIST WHO SPECIALIZES IN AGING ISSUES CAN HELP TAILOR AN INDIVIDUALIZED STRATEGY TO COMBAT DEPRESSION.
BE TACTFUL. AN OLDER PERSON WITH FRAGILE SELF-ESTEEM MAY INTERPRET WELL-INTENTIONED ENCOURAGEMENT AS FURTHER PROOF OF HIS OR HER DECLINING CONDITION. OTHERS MAY RESENT ANY ATTEMPTS AT INTERVENTION. A PSYCHOLOGIST CAN HELP FRIENDS AND FAMILY MEMBERS CRAFT POSITIVE APPROACHES FOR DEALING WITH THESE AND OTHER SENSITIVE ISSUES.

Just because a loved one is an aging adult it does not mean they must suffer from depression. It does mean; however, that they are at greater risk. The amount of aging adults that are being treated for depression has tripled since 1970 and that doesn’t include the many who are never diagnosed. As the boomers retire we must be vigilant and recognize that the need for mental health professionals and caregivers will only increase. Be hopeful for the best retirement for your loved ones, but prepared for the worst. You will be a true champion for your family member or friend’s happiness.

Now, if you are a Real Estate professional in this space or you’d just like to work with the above 50 market in any capacity, I’ve got great news. I will be teaching a Senior Real Estate Specialist designation course coming in March 2018 so save the date and reach out to me at toni(at)tonipatillo(dotted)comfor updates.

If you’re looking for additional resources on coaching, mentoring and related subjects go to www.tonipatillo.com or contact toni(at)tonipatillo(dotted)com.

If you’d like to stay connected, you can find Toni Patillo on www.facebook.com/tonipatillo&associates, twitter: @tonipatillo and email: toni(at)tonipatillo(dotted)com

Main Content

Aging and Depression: What We Can Do As Caregivers

SIGNS AN AGING ADULT MAY BE DEPRESSED

LOSS OF INTEREST IN SOCIALIZING OR HOBBIES – THIS IS VERY COMMON AND IT’S A SLIPPERY SLOPE. IF NO ONE COMES TO VISIT, AN ELDER ADULT WILL FEEL NEGLECTED, GET DEPRESSED AND NO LONGER SOCIALIZE. IT’S A VICIOUS CYCLE.

WEIGHT LOSS OR LOSS OF APPETITE – THERE’S A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN AGING ADULT WHO’S FOCUSED ON PHYSICAL FITNESS TO LOSE WEIGHT AND ONE WHO HAS STOPPED EATING.

FEELINGS OF HOPELESSNESS OR HELPLESSNESS – IF EVERY TIME YOU SPEAK WITH AN AGING ADULT HE OR SHE IS NEGATIVE YOU MUST START ASKING QUESTIONS. THINGS MAY BE MUCH MORE SERIOUS THAN YOU REALIZE.

LACK OF MOTIVATION AND ENERGY – WE ALL LOVE A SLEEP IN OR LAZY DAY ONCE IN A WHILE, BUT JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE IS OLDER DOES NOT MEAN THESE DAYS SHOULD BE MORE FREQUENT.

SLEEP DISTURBANCES – DIFFICULTY FALLING ASLEEP OR STAYING ASLEEP, OVERSLEEPING, OR DAYTIME SLEEPINESS.

LOSS OF SELF-WORTH – THIS WILL OFTEN SOUND LIKE WORRIES ABOUT BEING A BURDEN. IN OTHER WORDS, HE OR SHE IS NOT WORTH THE TIME YOU SPEND HELPING.

FIXATION ON DEATH – IF YOUR LOVED ONE KEEPS TRYING TO GIVE AWAY FURNITURE OR KEEPSAKES BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER THEY HAVE, BEWARE.

NEGLECTING PERSONAL CARE – YOU MAY NOTICE YOUR LOVED ONE SKIPPING MEALS, FORGETTING MEDS OR NEGLECTING PERSONAL HYGIENE. THIS IS A VERY CLEAR SIGN YOU MUST STEP IN.

CAUSES OF DEPRESSION IN AGING ADULTS

HEALTH PROBLEMS – ILLNESS AND DISABILITY; CHRONIC OR SEVERE PAIN; COGNITIVE DECLINE; DAMAGE TO HIS OR HER BODY IMAGE DUE TO SURGERY OR SICKNESS.

LONELINESS AND ISOLATION – LIVING ALONE; A DWINDLING SOCIAL CIRCLE DUE TO DEATHS OR RELOCATION; DECREASED MOBILITY DUE TO ILLNESS OR A LOSS OF DRIVING PRIVILEGES.

REDUCED SENSE OF PURPOSE – FEELINGS OF PURPOSELESSNESS OR LOSS OF IDENTITY DUE TO RETIREMENT OR PHYSICAL LIMITATIONS ON ACTIVITIES YOU USED TO ENJOY.

FEARS – FEAR OF DEATH OR DYING; ANXIETY OVER FINANCIAL PROBLEMS OR HEALTH ISSUES.

RECENT BEREAVEMENTS – THE DEATH OF FRIENDS, FAMILY MEMBERS, AND PETS; THE LOSS OF A SPOUSE OR PARTNER.

WHAT CAN WE DO TO HELP

BE AWARE OF PHYSICAL LIMITATIONS. ENCOURAGE AN OLDER ADULT TO CONSULT WITH A PHYSICIAN BEFORE MAKING DIETARY CHANGES OR UNDERTAKING ANY NEW ACTIVITY THAT MAY STRESS HIS OR HER STAMINA.

GET MOVING. EXERCISE IS A KEY INGREDIENT IN THE FIGHT AGAINST DEPRESSION. TAKE YOUR LOVED ONE FOR A SLOW WALK. BRING THEM TO AN OUTDOOR POOL WHERE THEY CAN SIT AND RELAX IN THE SUN OR EXERCISE IN THE WATER. LOOK FOR ACTIVITIES YOU CAN DO TOGETHER.

COMPANY IS KING. IT’S MUCH MORE DIFFICULT TO BE DEPRESSED WHEN THERE IS COMPANY AROUND. GET THEM OUT TO A COFFEE SHOP OR BUSY RESTAURANT WHERE THEY CAN BE AROUND OTHER PEOPLE AND FEEL LIKE PART OF SOCIETY. DON’T ALLOW HE OR SHE TO FEEL ANTIQUATED.

AGE APPROPRIATE ACTIVITIES. ACTIVITIES THAT ATTRACT PEOPLE CLOSE TO HIS OR HER AGE WILL INCREASE THE FEELING THAT THEY ARE STILL PART OF A COMMUNITY. FIND A PLACE WHERE THEY’LL BELIEVE THAT THEY BELONG.

How Can We Help